Forgiveness
by HP Slash Luv
Summary: Giles betrays Buffy, and this time, she's just not sure if there will ever be forgiveness. Thankfully, she has Willow on her side. Warning: Sexual content
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Forgiveness  
**Rating:** T  
**Pairing(s)/Character(s):** Spike/Buffy  
**Warnings:** None  
**Disclaimer:** Don't own 'em - not making any money off 'em. Dern it.  
**Summary: **Giles betrays Buffy, and this time, she's just not sure if there will ever be forgiveness. Thankfully, she has Willow on her side.  
**Notes: **This takes Post-Chosen, but during Angel, season 5. I never actually watched Angel, except the two crossover episodes in season 4 when Buffy is on the show. I kind of know what happens in Angel season 5 when Spike is resurrected, but the details are fuzzy. I just have a vague idea from various Buffy fanfics.

I haven't read the comics at all, so I'm pretending they don't exist.

* * *

"I never knew how much I loved him. And now, it's too late," Buffy whispers. She doesn't look at Giles, doesn't want to see his disapproval. She knows he hates that she has fallen for another vampire, but she can't help it, especially not when said-vampire sought out a soul for her and then sacrificed himself to save the world.

Willow sits down next to her, reminding Buffy that it isn't just her and Giles in the room. She lets her best friend take her in her arms and allows the sense of comfort to wash over her. "It'll be okay. I know how it feels. I remembered the sense of loss when Tara died. At least _you _didn't go on a homicidal rampage," she jokes weakly.

"It's not the same," Buffy weeps. She leaves the warm embrace and when Willow opens her mouth to retaliate, Buffy shakes her head, forestalling the protest. "It isn't. Tara knew you loved her. Even when you two were apart, she never once doubted your feelings. I told Spike I loved him down there. I spoke the truth for the first time ever. And do you know what he said? 'No you don't. But thanks for saying it.'"

She takes a shuddering breath, trying to compose herself as the tears steadily fall. "He didn't believe me. Not that I blame him, considering he saw me kiss Angel the previous night and I never said the words before he was dying. Why would he believe me? He died not knowing how much I truly cared and now it's too late."

"Buffy," Giles' voice is firm and it makes Buffy look at him for the first time since she started her confession. His face is impassive when he says, "You'll get over him before you know it. Trust me."

Buffy nods even though she doesn't believe it. She has never felt a pain so great in heart, not even when Angel left Sunnydale. She rests her head on Willow's shoulder, just wishing that Spike had believed her words. Maybe if he had, she would be able to move on with her life.

_'Spike,' _she silently cries, wishing it's his arms around her and not Willow's. It does no good to wish, though.

* * *

Two months later, Buffy lies on her bed early morning. It had been a restless night, full of dreams of different ways she could have saved Spike. She remembers what Spike said when Buffy was first resurrected, how every night he would see it all again, do something different. He'd be faster or more clever. Every night he'd save her. And that's what Buffy is going through now.

She closes her eyes, hoping for just a few precious minutes of sleep before she's forced to get out of bed. She's just so exhausted. She's not even sure if she would be able to get out of bed right now.

Willow crashes into her room just as Buffy is about to drop into blessed unconsciousness. "Buffy, there's something you need to know!"

Her eyes snap open and her fists clench at her side. "Willow, I'm so tired. Can't this wait?"

Instead of answering her, Willow jumps on the bed, kneeling next to Buffy's prone form. "Spike's alive! Andrew told me he saw Spike working with Angel's crew!"

She quickly sits up, eyes wild. "He's alive?"

Willow nods.

"Why didn't he come find me? I'm sure he could have found me easily. He has always seemed to know where to find me."

Willow shrugs, biting her lip, showing her indecisiveness.

"Willow, what is it?"

"Well, Andrew mentioned that Spike told him not to tell you. Andrew technically didn't go against Spike's orders because he told me, knowing I'd tell you."

"Spike doesn't want me to know." Her heart clenches. He never left before, no matter how much Buffy told him to or punched him. She has finally chased him away, though. He doesn't want her; maybe he doesn't even love her anymore.

"Stop!" Willow reprimands. "Stop thinking whatever you're thinking. He's not aware of your feelings, and maybe he thinks you'd be disappointed with him being alive... or unlive I should say. He went out as a hero. Maybe he feels like his being back diminishes the sacrifice he made."

"Maybe," Buffy manages. Her heart still hurts over the fact that he didn't seek her out as soon as he was able to, and actively did his best to keep her in the dark about his return. Even Angel kept it from her. Although, that might not be that big of a surprise if Angel figured out that Spike meant more than Buffy proclaimed. She's very aware of the fact that Angel's prone to actions derived from petty jealousy.

"You need to figure out what you're going to do. Are you going to keep Spike in the dark about your feelings or prove to him that he was wrong in that cavern?"

Knowing she doesn't even has to ask Willow to look out for Dawn, it's not long before Buffy proclaims, "I'm going to L.A."

* * *

"Don't you get it?! Spike is alive!? Of course I'm going to see him!"

Giles glares. "I knew he was alive already. You not seeing him is for the best. You'll forget all about him with time."

Buffy's breath catches in her throat. "You knew? You listened to me when I talked about my feelings for him, and you knew he was alive? As soon as Willow found out, she told me. At least I know who my true friend is."

Giles' face is an ugly scowl. "You are not going! I forbid it!"

Buffy's eyes harden. "Well, guess what? I don't need your permission. I told you so you were aware they there needed to be a slayer to cover my normal patrol route. That's all. I'm going, no matter what. You better start worrying about whether I will forgive this betrayal, though. I forgave you when you told me we might have to kill Dawn. I forgave you when you ran away to England, leaving me floundering. I even forgave you when you conspired to have Spike killed, and then helped kick me out of my own house, pushing me into what could have been a warzone if Caleb came after me that night. This time though, you don't have the excuse of a war being fought to help explain your reasoning when it comes to keeping me away from Spike."

"I want what's best for you!" Giles yells, his face flushed in his anger.

She crosses her arms. "You don't get to decide what's best for me. That's for me to decide, and what's best for me is having Spike in my life, whether it's as a friend or a lover. Although I'm hoping for the latter, I'll settle for the former. You really should think about how important I am to you because right now, I'm not sure if I'll ever forgive and forget your latest betrayal." With those parting words, Buffy stalks out of his office.

When she's out of the building, the anger depletes, leaving her exhausted and hurt. She really thought Giles was done treating her like a stupid child. Obviously, she was wrong.

She shakes her head. She can think about Giles later. Right now, she has a flight to catch.

She takes out her phone and calls Dawn. "I'm on my way to the airport."

"Good luck," Dawn says.

"Thanks. Behave for Willow."

"I will, and I hope everything works out with Spike."

Buffy smiles sadly, deciding not to mention Giles' betrayal to Dawn just yet. That's a whole other can of worms. "Thanks. I'll call you when I get there." She hangs up and focuses on what she needs to do.

_'Spike, I hope you're ready for me because here I come.'_

* * *

**Notes: **If you want this to continue, let me know. I have some vague ideas for it, but I'm not sure if it's going to be wanted by readers.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** Don't own 'em - not making any money off 'em. Dern it.  
**Notes: **Lots of dialogue in this one.**  
**I'm going to try to get out a chapter a week, but I'm not making any promises.

* * *

**Chapter 2**

Buffy arrives at L.A. at night. She doesn't waste time. Hoping Spike is at Wolfram &amp; Hart, she tells the taxi the address.

She stands outside and takes a deep breath. She enters the building and her shoulders slump. She had hoped that she would see Spike as soon as she entered. She has only been to Wolfram &amp; Hart once, right after Sunnydale, and she had been in too much of a catatonic daze to actually look around. She has no idea where Spike would even be.

She walks through the foyer and spots a girl she vaguely recognizes. "Fred?" Buffy asks tentatively, hoping she's right about the name.

"Buffy!" There's pleased shock in her voice. Fred comes to her and envelopes her in a hug. "It's so nice to see you."

Buffy returns the hug and says, "It's nice to see you too, but I'm here to see someone."

Fred pulls back. "Angel's out right now, but you can wait –"

"I'm not here to see Angel," Buffy interrupts. "I want to see Spike, and don't you dare tell me he's not here."

"He's not –"

"I know he's alive!" Buffy interrupts harshly.

Fred shakes her head. "I meant he's not here as in he's out with Angel."

"Oh." Suddenly Buffy feels very foolish that she snapped at Fred. It isn't the young scientist's fault that she's on edge. "Can I wait for him?"

Fred nods. "He usually debriefs in Angel's office if you want to wait there?"

"I would like to see him for the first time without Angel being present if that's at all possible."

"Well, he almost always visits me in my lab afterwards. You can come keep me company if you want."

Buffy nods and when they enter Fred's space, she goes over to a chair that's by the door. "I'll stay out of your way."

They're quiet as Fred works. Buffy watches. She had never been very into science, but it's obvious that Fred is good in what she does. She's intent and focused. Her hands don't shake and her gaze doesn't wander.

She's not sure how much time has passed when she hears a knock on the door before it opens. Buffy holds her breath when the familiar voice washes over her. "Fred, Fred, Fred."

Buffy stands up and his eyes immediately find hers. He pauses and his mouth opens and then shuts. Out of the corner of her eye, she notices Fred finally lose focus on her experiment as she gets ready to watch their reunion.

Buffy moves to stand in front of him; her eyes drink him in as she swallows. He's still so gorgeous that it aches to see him, especially after thinking he was dead for so long.

Within a blink of an eye, she pulls her fist back and punches him in the nose. She ignores Fred's gasp of surprise and then pulls his neck down for a deep kiss. Her lips devour his as her tongue plunges into his mouth. She moans into the kiss when Spike's arms come around her, holding her close to his body.

She breaks the kiss and finishes their embrace off with a couple of chaste pecks to his lips and cheeks. When they completely break apart, she pulls her fist back and punches him one last time.

"What the bloody hell?" Spike yells, holding his nose.

Buffy crosses her arms and taps her foot. "The first punch was for not believing me when I told you that I loved her. The kiss was because I missed you. The second punch was for not telling me you weren't dust. Now that we have that cleared up, do you have anything to say for yourself? And you better make it good," she warns.

"Andrew told you?"

Buffy smiles, but it's not a happy one. "Wrong. He told Willow because he knew she'd tell me. Technically, he didn't go against your order."

"I didn't realize the little bastard was so sneaky.

"The real question is why I had to hear it from Willow at all."

"Buffy..."

"Spike, please. Tell me why you didn't let me know you were back. Do you have any idea what I've been through the last few months?"

Spike looks at the floor. "I didn't think you would care."

Buffy clenches her fists at her side. "If that's true, then you don't know me as well as you have always claimed." She shoulders pass him, needing to get away from him.

She had been so eager to see him, mostly blaming Giles and Angel. She has finally realized that no one forced him to keep it a secret. If he had wanted to see her, he would have. He has always done whatever he wanted.

Her heart hurts at the thought that he really didn't want to see her. _'Maybe he doesn't love me anymore.' _She does her best to hold back the tears that want to fall at the very idea. She really feels like a fool.

"Buffy, wait!"

She ignores him, rushing to get away. She should have never come here. It's obvious now.

"Buffy, stop!" He grabs her arm, whirling her around to face him. "It's obvious I made a huge mistake. I thought I was doing what was best for you by staying away. I'm sorry if I was wrong."

"Doing what was _best _for me?! Do you know how sick I am of hearing people say they know what's best for me? They treat me as if I'm a child too stupid to know what's right for me. You were the one who never did that. You were blunt with your honesty. You told me your opinion, but ultimately, you let me make my own decisions. And if I was wrong, you helped me clean up the mess. The fact that you did this..." She shakes her head. "You decided you knew what was best for me, without even thinking about what I might want."

"I did think about what you would want," Spike argues. "I thought about all of our bad history, every bad thing that I had ever done to you. I was told you moved on, and I thought if I showed up, I would just dredge up all of those bad memories. And if you had moved on, the last thing I wanted to do was hurt you with my presence."

Buffy bites her bottom lip. When she tastes the tanginess of blood, she knows she has bitten too hard. Spike's eyes dilate as they zero in on her lip before he shakes it off. "Fine. Angel told you I moved on – and don't even say it wasn't Angel – and you believed him. I'm not exactly sure _when _you started listening to Angel, but fine. I'll accept that. I don't think that was the whole truth about why you stayed away, though." The warning is clear in her voice.

Spike's gaze is intense as he stares into her eyes. "You're right. I was afraid. If I came to you, and you told me that you moved on and you didn't want me to be a part of your life anymore, even if only as a friend, it would have broken my heart. I didn't want to risk the rejection so I told myself staying away was for your own good. And Angel's words helped me believe it."

"You thought I would want you to leave me alone. You actually thought I would tell you that."

"It wouldn't have been the first time," Spike is quick to point out defensively.

"After everything we went through that last year, if you thought I could actually say that to you..." She shakes her head and closes her eyes, pain infusing her whole being at Spike's doubt of her feelings.

Then she remembers. _'Of course Spike doubts it. I waited until he was dying to tell him that I loved him. And the day before, he saw me playing tonsil hockey with my first love. Why should he believe anything different?'_

She reaches up and presses her hand against his cheek. "Spike, I meant it that day when I told you it for the first time. And the words are just as true now. I love you."

Spike opens his mouth, but the next word she hears doesn't come from him.

"Buffy!?" She turns her head and sees Angel standing there with his mouth gaping open, undeniable fury in his eyes.

She automatically drops her hand in her shock.

"Bloody Hell," Spike mutters.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** Don't own 'em - not making any money off 'em. Dern it.

* * *

**Chapter 3**

Buffy automatically straightens her spine. "Angel," she says curtly. Her voice doesn't display any of the warmth she usually exhibits towards her first love.

Angel blinks, obviously taken aback by her cold demeanor. "You didn't tell me you were coming."

His voice sounds accusatory, and it raises her hackles even more as she steps three paces towards Angel. "It was a last minute decision. Imagine my surprise when I found out Spike wasn't dust, and he hasn't been dust for awhile. Imagine my even greater surprise, that I found out that not only was he working with _you_ but Giles knew as well, and both of you decided to not tell me."

"It was for the best," Angel argues.

"Who's best? Certainly not mine."

"You moved on."

Buffy isn't sure who Angel is trying to convince: himself or her. "No, I didn't. And you knew that. You selfishly kept the truth from me because you couldn't stand the fact that I wanted to be with Spike. You claimed to love me, but when you love someone, you're supposed to want them to be happy, even if they're not with you."

Angel strides forward and takes Buffy's hand. She doesn't pull it away, but her grip remains limp, not returning the hand hold. She hears Spike shift uncomfortably, and her heart goes out to him, knowing how much this display must be hurting him. Hopefully by the time it's over, he'll understand where she stands and never doubt her feelings again.

"Buffy, you told me your cookies weren't done. So how can you want _Spike _of all things?" He spits the name out as if it's acid.

Buffy's eyes narrow. "First of all, Spike isn't a _thing_. _Things _can't love, and he loves better than anyone that I have ever known. And the truth is my cookies were done. I didn't want to hurt you and at the time I wasn't ready to admit how much Spike meant to me. I couldn't admit it until the amulet was making him burn."

"So how could I have known?"

Buffy wants to punch the smugness out of his face. "Because, you saw how I was. I was completely catatonic after Sunnydale. Willow had to shove food down my throat so I didn't starve. She almost went into my mind to bring me out of it, like she had to do when Glory first took Dawn. She got through to me by saying Spike wouldn't want this for me. We talked more than once, and I know you heard the depression in my voice. You faked oblivion so you didn't have to admit that my heart chose Spike, and there was nothing you could do to stop it."

"Buffy –"

"No," she interrupts. "You hoped I'd forget about Spike and want to be with you again, even though we can't truly be together. You were selfish in your actions. Instead of letting me be happy, you made sure I was miserable."

"I'm going to be human one day, and then we can be together fully," he promises.

Buffy looks behind her and sees Spike staring at the floor. Apparently, he's pretty sure of Buffy's reaction to that tidbit. She rolls her eyes and thinks, _'Insecure vampires.' _She faces Angel again, and says, "You don't get it. If it came down between vampire Spike and human Angel, I'd still choose Spike. I love him."

"You don't mean that," Angel growls, shifting into game face.

Buffy takes a defensive stance, just in case. "Yes, I do."

Angel growls and lunges towards them. His aim isn't Buffy, though. It's Spike.

She crosses her arms and watches the fight. She doesn't get involved. She knows Spike can handle himself and sure enough, it's only a matter of time before he has pinned his grandsire against the wall, his fangs dangerously bared.

Buffy raises her voice to be heard over the growling. "Angel, I choose Spike. That's my final decision. Deal with it."

Spike lets him go, game face still on, and she slips her hand in his, giving it a comforting squeeze.

Angel's eyes are still yellow, but he stomps away.

"He's probably going to his office to pout," Spike comments.

"As long as he doesn't try to dust you, I'm okay with that."

They face each other and Buffy smiles when Spike's yellow eyes become blue once again.

"Did you mean it? Do you really choose me?"

"Every time," she promises. She licks her suddenly dry lips. "Now, we were we before we were so rudely interrupted?"

He smiles softly and takes her hand and presses it against his cheek, closing his eyes and savoring the touch. "Right about here."

"Right." Her fingers trace patterns on his cheek and his moan goes straight through her. She can't resist any longer and stands on her toes, kissing him lightly on the lips.

The touch is kept light as she quickly relearns the taste of Spike. Her tongue slips between his lips as his arms come around her, holding her close.

Their tongues battle for dominance and Buffy happily gives into Spike, letting him take control of the kiss that's sending her body into overdrive.

While one of her hands stays on Spike's cheek, in order to keep his lips pressed against hers, her other hand rests on the top of his pants. Her fingers slip underneath the waistband of his jeans and nestle there, trapped against the warm fabric of his jeans and the cool skin of his stomach.

A hand brushes the outer curve of her breast, and she breaks the kiss with a whimper of protest, desperately needing air. "Mmm. Spike lips. Lips of Spike."

They both smirk in remembrance of the last time she said that. Hopefully, what follows this time will be a lot more pleasurable.

"So, you do you a bedroom somewhere nearby?"

Spike's mouth open and then close at her forwardness.

She raises her eyebrows. "It's been way too long since I've had you. I need you. Please."

His hand cups the back of her neck. "You won't have regrets tomorrow morning, will you?"

She shakes her head and presses her body against his, molding her curves against his hard physique. "Please, I need you," she whispers.

"God, I love you."

"I love you, too," she says without hesitation, knowing he'll probably have to hear it a couple more thousand times before he fully believes it. "And I want you to make love to me."

He takes her hand and pulls her down the hall. "Follow me."

Both of them ignore Fred, having completely forgotten her presence. She watches them go and shakes her head fondly. She knows Angel's hurting, but he was out of line when he kept them apart. She's happy that they have found their way back to each other. They both deserve it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** Don't own 'em - not making any money off 'em. Dern it.  
**Warning: **Sex scene

* * *

**Chapter 4**

Buffy laughs as she's pushed through the door. She can't remember the last time she felt so happy and free. Although she had felt at peace with Spike that very last night, she hadn't been free and happy because of the impending apocalypse.

There's no apocalypse in the foreseeable future, though. It's just her and Spike, and it's a moment she's going to treasure. Buffy knows that they still have a lot of things to work out together, but tonight, she's just going to feel in a way that only Spike can make her feel.

Spikes arms wrap around her waist and pull her body close, perfectly molding his lithe form to hers. Her hands rest on his shoulder and she gazes into eyes. She gets loss in the love and devotion she sees in his gaze and can't believe she thought he stopped feeling that way for her. Spike is a lot of things and loyal is one of them. Once Spike loves you, he loves you for life, or unlife, as the case may be. Buffy must have momentarily lost her mind and forgotten that very important tidbit about Spike.

It feels so good, so right to be in his embrace, and she knows she never wants to leave it. Although she does have a life in England with her sister, she knows that if Spike wants to stay here in L.A. she'll stay without any thought. Dawn can join her or choose to stay in England and live with Willow. She won't force her sister to move back to California, not when she has finally settled into a life there.

Buffy shakes her head. She's getting ahead of herself. First there's going to be a lot of kissing, and then she and Spike can really talk about what their future holds for them.

"Love?" Spike asks, his expression carefully guarded.

"Sorry, I was thinking about something." Upon noticing his expression, she frowns. "Don't tell me you _still _doubt my feelings. I thought I proved myself to you. Spike, I love you, and no matter what happens, I'm not going to take that back. Now, kiss me," she orders with a pout, her bottom lip sticking out in a way she knows drives Spike absolutely crazy.

He smirks. "Oh, pouty! Look at that lip...gonna get it...gonna get it..."

Buffy smiles in remembrance as Spike's lips claim her own in a heated kiss. With tender nips and licks to his lips, she evokes a lustful groan from him, making her feel all sorts of womanly pride.

Opening his mouth to her onslaught, their tongues thrust against one another. His hands slid over her back to her hips before moving up her sides, gently brushing the outer curves of her breasts.

She whimpers and arches against his body, rubbing her denim covered center on the burgeoning erection she feels through their jeans.

Pulling away to gasp for air, Buffy whispers, "I want you to make love to me. Please, Spike. William. Make love to me."

His eyes darken. No matter how many times they've been together, they have never made love. The closest they came to it was the night he held her in that empty house, and there wasn't even anything sexual about it. It was just the first time she truly opened up to him and allowed him into her heart.

He cups her face and stares into her glazed eyes. "I love you," he whispers reverently.

She smiles. "I love, too."

No matter how many times she says it, he will never get sick of hearing it. "I will make love to you all night, pet," he promises.

He slips his fingers underneath the bottom of shirt and lifts it up and over her head with her aiding him by raising her arms. His hands caress all of her glorious skin as they travel downwards to her jeans. He unbuttons them and slides the slipper down. With a little wiggle from his slayer's hips, the pants easily slide down her legs. All she's now in is a matching red bra and panty ensemble. Spike's raises his eyebrows at one of his favorite colors.

She blushes. "Believe it or not, I didn't plan that. It's just a happy coincidence."

He nods, holding his tongue. He quickly gets rid of his clothes. First his shirt, than his boots, and then his jeans. Buffy's eyes are on him the whole time, and when she licks her lips, he groans. He knows just how talented the tongue is.

He takes her hand and pulls her to the bed. They lay on it together, and he crashes his lips to Buffy's for the second time. She puts all of her passion into the kiss and the mewls from the back of her throat are swallowed by his mouth.

His hands grab her breasts through her bra and squeeze. She writhes into his touch. "More," she begs as a leg wraps around his legs, trapping his body to hers. Not that he would be trying to escape of course.

He thrusts against her panty covered center, the flimsy fabric wet with her arousal. As the tantalizing scent engulfs all of his senses, Spike quickly loses control. There is definitely no holding back now.

His fingers roughly rip the panties away, knowing she'll make him buy her another pair, and he heaves against her kiss swollen lips. His hips rock against the heat of her mound. "I wanted to drag this out, but I need to be inside of you."

"Foreplay later. Inside now," Buffy urges. "I need you so much." She lifts her hips, and he slides home. And that's what it feels like to both of them, like they've come home after a long not-so-pleasant vacation.

He groans, "That's it, kitten. Just right."

"Yes, yes, yes," she chants. Her eyes are closed tight as she basks in the feeling of absolute completeness.

"Open your eyes. I need to see them. I need to know you're here with me."

They flutter open, completely hazy with lust. "Where else would I be?"She murmurs. She drags his head down for a frantic kiss, pressing her covered breasts against his chest. "Move," she orders against his lips, running her hands through his hair.

Spike doesn't need to be told twice. One hand reaches down and squeezes her lush arse. He leans on his other elbow for leverage and thrusts in and out of her at a rapid pace.

Buffy's inner muscles contract against the hard cock driving into her. She yells and moans. "Go faster. Faster, faster, faster."

Spike follows her commands, praising her. He calls her beautiful and sexy, everything he could ever want. He vulgarly tells her how tight she feels against him.

And although his lewd praises should disgust her, it actually sends warmth pooling in her stomach, knowing she can bring it out in him.

He angles her hips up and slam back in, making sure to hit that elusive spongy spot that has Buffy throwing her head back and screaming her appreciation. He does it over and over again, loving the way she yells his name in that tone.

She moves in perfect sync with him, their bodies melding together as one. Spike knows he won't last long. Everything he has ever wanted is beneath him, writing in ecstasy, as they make love for the first time. It's more than he has ever imagined or hoped for.

He holds back even though his body is burning for release. He releases her perfect arse and snakes his hand between their bodies. He skillfully manipulates her swollen clit. Her warm walls strangle his cock in response.

"Spike!" she screams in pleasure. Her walls clamp down on him, almost to the point of pain, as she orgasms, her body shaking from the power of it.

He gutturally groans and explodes inside her beautiful quim. He nips at her shoulder with blunt human teeth. What he really wants is to bite her with his fangs, claim her as his for eternity, but he knows better than to expect that much from her. He has already been given more than he ever thought he would have.

"I love you," he says against her shoulder, pressing soft kisses against the skin.

She runs her hands over his back. "I love you, too. I've never felt so complete in my life. I can't believe I wasted so much of our time being a coward."

"Stop it. We're together now; that's all that matters."

"Right." He still hears the sadness in her voice.

He looks up, gazing into her eyes. "I mean it. No regrets. Let's just enjoy what we have now and not dwell on the past."

She nods and pulls him so he's laying next to her. She shifts closer. Her eyes start to droop, and she knows it won't be long now until sleep claims her in its prison.

"Go to sleep, pet."

Buffy wants to argue. There are still so many more things she wants to do with him, but she knows they have plenty of time to play catch-up. She nods, too tired to even voice her consent.

_'Tomorrow, we'll talk,' _Buffy thinks sleepily, her head pillowed on Spike's chest and his arm securely around her. She drifts off into dreamland, a happy smile on her face and for the first time in months, no nightmares plague her sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** Don't own 'em - not making any money off 'em. Dern it.  
**Notes:** Sorry it has been a couple of weeks. Was working in the HP fandom, and I had a bit of a block for this chapter. There's a lot of dialogue in this one.

* * *

**Chapter 5**

Buffy wakes up to a very insistent erection pressing against the small of her back. She looks behind herself over her shoulder and sees Spike still in a deep sleep. She smiles wickedly, deciding to do something she had never done for him, even with the number of times they were together.

She gently removes Spike's arm that had been clutching her tightly. She ducks her head beneath the blanket and scoots down so she's eyelevel with the erection. In a quick movement, she engulfs him as much as she can.

She hears a moan above her and grins around the flesh invading her mouth. Hips begin thrusting into her mouth as a hand tangles in her hair.

"Buffy," Spike groans.

Buffy looks up as she continues to suck her prize and finds Spike staring at her through hooded eyes, his lips hanging open in his pleasure.

Buffy brings a hand up to cup his balls, massaging them between nimble fingers. Her teeth lightly scrape against the tender head, which is all Spike needs to explode in her mouth. She swallows down the cool seed, and then licks him clean, savoring the tangy taste that she has missed _so_ much.

She crawls up his body and rests on top of him, their legs tangled and his quickly reawakening erection nestled between her thighs.

"What a way to wake up," he breathes. His hand is still snarled in her hair, so he tugs her head back to bestow a kiss on her lips.

Buffy moans, returning it with a languid mouth and tongue. She writhes against his body, loving the feel of the evidence of how much his body still desires her, despite the fact he has just had an orgasm. When they pull away from each other's lips, Buffy caresses his check with a featherlike touch. "You can wake up like that every morning," she promises.

Spike chuckles. "I'm not holding out my hope for that."

Buffy frowns and pulls away, dislodging the hand in her hair. She pulls up the blanket to cover her chest and defensively crosses her arms, trapping the blanket there. "Are you saying we won't be together every morning so I won't have the chance to wake you up like that?"

Spike quickly sits up as the blanket pools around his waist. Buffy does her best to not get distracted by the lean muscles as hands go up in a placating gesture. "No, no love. Of course not. I meant there's a good chance you won't be awake before me most mornings. I know how much you like to sleep. That's okay, though." Her arms drop their defensiveness, and he takes her hand and squeezes it, affection and awe clear in his eyes. "I definitely don't mind returning the favor the mornings I'm up first."

He leans forward and captures her lips in a heated kiss, and she practically melts. While their mouths stay busy, she's pulled onto his lap and a hand disappears beneath the blanket and between her thighs.

Her legs fall open when a finger probes her center. She whimpers into the kiss and moves her hips in time to his finger and practically whines into the kiss when he adds a second and then a third finger. It's doesn't take much to get her off, not when it has been so long before last night.

After she shudders with her orgasm, her body still has slight tremors as she rests her head on his shoulder. She watches with heavy eyelids as he brings his finger up to his mouth and licks the digit clean.

She bites her lip at the sight. Her body feels incredibly heated by the erotic image he's portraying.

"Tasty," he murmurs before capturing her lips once again.

They come together again as the insatiable lust for each other overflows, and it's a couple of hours before they're temporarily appeased enough to have the much needed talk.

Buffy's head is cushioned by Spike's chest as his hand makes lazy circles on her back.

"I think the most important question we have to ask ourselves is where we're going to live." She tilts her head up to stare into his eyes. "You have a life here in L.A. and after you spent so much time doing everything you could for me, I don't want to take that away from you, or force you to give up the independence you managed to find."

Spike frowns and Buffy's not sure what she said to upset him. She's doing her best to be accommodating with not expecting him to leave everything he knows. She doesn't want to be the bitch she was in Sunnydale, and he seems upset by it.

"What makes you think I regret doing everything I could for you?"

She blinks. "I guess that last year wasn't that bad, but I didn't do anything for you during Glory and after I was resurrected, considering everything you did for me."

Spike holds her close. "Love, I think your memory is a bit skewed. I was definitely not a saint, and my only regret is I couldn't do more for you after your resurrection. In fact, I did you harm when I told you that you belonged in the dark. Things might not have gotten quite so bad if we kept our relationship strictly friendship which had been developing."

"I kissed you," Buffy points out.

"I know, but I could have put a stop to anything else happening. I knew you weren't in your right mind, but without a soul, I didn't have much of a moral compass. I _did _love you, but it was definitely a selfish love."

"Not like it is now," Buffy says.

"Exactly. And that's why we're going to live where we were both be happiest. Be honest. Do _you _want to live in L.A.?"

"Although I kind of like Fred, I can't imagine having to deal with Angel on a regular basis."

"My thoughts exactly," Spike agrees. He kisses the top of her head. "How about England? Do you feel at home there?"

This time, Buffy is slower with answering. She has many conflicting emotions where England is concerned right now. "Despite the fact that it rains quite a bit there, Dawns likes it. And she has already made friends. Willow and I have gotten closer since the fall of Sunnydale. She understood that I was hurting from losing you and didn't pressure me to just get over it like the others, not including Dawn. She knows what it's like to lose someone you love and didn't tell me my pain was no big deal because you were a vampire. Unlike Xander, who decided his pain was greatest because Anya was a human. I wasn't allowed to hurt in his eyes. I don't even want to deal with Giles who kept the fact you were alive a secret. He didn't do it because he thought you might be soulless again or because where you were working. If it was one of those reasons, I could maybe understand it even if I didn't like it. He decided to keep your return a secret because he decided it was his right to dictate who I should be with and a vampire wasn't acceptable. It didn't matter to him that I was hurting. He's become quite a bit like the old council, something I never thought would happen!"

Her fists had been clenched throughout her rant, and Spike rubs them, trying to get her to loosen them a bit. "Love."

"I'm afraid he'd try to interfere with us."

"I can see that. Do you enjoy teaching the little slayers?"

Buffy looks at him, raising her eyebrows in astonishment.

"Just because I didn't think you would want to see me doesn't mean I didn't keep up-to-date with what you were doing." He pauses, and then adds defensively, "It wasn't stalking."

"I think it's sweet that you were still checking up on me. And no, I don't enjoy it. I trained the potentials at my house because I had to in order to give them a chance to survive. Then I continued it in England because I didn't really care. I was pretty listless with you gone. I didn't care enough to figure out what I wanted to do so I did what I was told to do."

"It sounds like the only reason you'd stay in England is because of Dawn and Willow. Although Dawn should be factored into our decision, she shouldn't be the only reason we decide something. If you could do anything, what would you do?"

Buffy thinks about it, and she's surprised with how easy the answer comes to her. "Anything?"

"Yeah, even if it's retiring from slaying. You're not the only one anymore, and you could retire if you want to."

Buffy smiles and kisses his neck. "I didn't even consider retiring. It took years to get to the point where I'm not afraid to admit it, but I enjoy slaying. I could do without the constant apocalypses, but I like patrolling graveyards and taking out random vampires and demons. I've discovered that I can't sleep unless I do a little patrol."

"You slept last night," Spike teases.

She sticks out her tongue. "You wore me out. Usually I wouldn't have slept that soundly."

Spike surprisingly lets that go with no lewd comment. "Okay, so retiring isn't an option. What was your answer?"

"I would like to guard a Hellmouth. It's something I know. I'd be a little worried about the research aspect of it, but I'm familiar with what goes into protecting one."

Spike nods. "Research would be an easy thing to fix. I'm not as brilliant as Red, but I am good with research. And I have a pretty extensive knowledge of demons obviously. And I'm sure Red would help, even if she's in England. Who knows? If we decide to take over a Hellmouth, she may come with us."

"What about Dawn? She likes it in England."

"You could give her the option of staying there with Rupert or someone else. Maybe Willow, if she decides to stay there. She can also have the option to come with us. The question we need to ask is what Hellmouth?"

Buffy grins. "Faith was just telling me the other day that she and Robin are sick of Cleveland. She's not used to being in one place for so long and hopes she can find another slayer to take over guardianship of the Hellmouth there."

Spike smirks. "I think there are some calls we have to make."

Buffy sits up. "Are we actually going to do this? We agreed we should both be happy with where we live, and we're going with my desire. What do _you _want?"

Spike sits up as well and cradles Buffy's cheek. "Don't you get it? I'll be happy as long as I can get a spot of violence in and I'm with you. Those are the only things I need to be happy, so to me, watching over Cleveland's Hellmouth is perfect."

"I know we have calls to make," Buffy says, a coy smile touching her lips, "But I have other things I want to do first."

Spike lets go of Buffy's cheek and leans back onto his hands, his posture relaxed. "And what's that, love?"

"This," and she pounces, knocking him back down onto the bed. They don't emerge for another two hours.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** Don't own 'em - not making any money off 'em. Dern it.  
**Notes:** Sorry about the delay. Been working on planning a new Buffy story and got a bit sidetracked by it.

* * *

**Chapter 6**

Buffy can't keep her hands to herself as they sit down to a much needed meal. She devours her food, keeping her hand on Spike's thigh. He is guilty of the same thing as he sips his blood, except his hand keeps wandering further north.

Buffy pushes his hand down and away from her crotch, but her blush betrays how much she's enjoying the attention.

There are eyes on them, but Buy doesn't let it make her shy. She had wasted so much time where Spike was concerned, but she isn't going to waste anymore of it.

"We have o much stuff to do," she says giddily.

"Are you positive this is what you want? If it's only because you're upset with Rupert –"

Buffy cuts him off with a kiss. "I told you this is what I want. I want to be a slayer and patrol a Hellmouth. I don't trust Giles to not interfere with our relationship and unless he's genuinely sorry, I don't know if I can truly forgive him. This is what I want, so stop questioning me."

Spike smiles. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to check one last time."

They quickly finish their meal and head back to Spike's apartment. Buffy wonders if she'll be able to talk Spike into some fun between the sheets one last time before they need to get down to business. It'll probably take him no effort at all to get him to agree." Her cell phone ringing interrupts her thoughts.

She doesn't look at the caller id as she answers, thinking it's either Will or Dawn. She should have looked at the caller id.

"Buffy?"

Taking a deep breath and then slowly releasing it, telling herself to not lose her temper, she answers, "Hello, Giles."

She ignores Spike's look of concern as he opened the door to the apartment. She walks in first and goes over to the small table, avoiding Spike's eyes.

She glances at the book that lies carelessly on the tabletop as she takes a seat: _The Myth of Kokopelli_. She furrows her brow. _'I wonder what Kokopelli is. Definitely something to ask Spike.'_

She tunes back into the problem at hand when Giles begins talking. "Have you finally seen reason? Are you ready to talk like an adult?"

"Talk like an adult? Funny. That doesn't sound like an apology."

"I have nothing to be sorry for," Giles said, and she heard the Ripperesque quality of his voice.

Spike lays a comforting head on her shoulder, lending her his silent support. She smiles at him gratefully, taking the hand that lays innocuously on her shoulders. She turns it over and peppers a soft kiss to his palm, and then taking a deep breath, she says "You interfered in my personal life, and you had no business doing it. So yes, you do have something to be sorry for."

"It was for your own good," he belligerently implores.

"You don't get to decide what's for my own good, but I do need to thank you for something."

There's silence for a moment, and then he asks, "For what?" Buffy can hear the hesitance in his voice. He's acting as if she's a rattlesnake that's posed to strike.

It pleases her more than it should. "Well, you made me even more certain of my decision. I was going to call Faith first, but I guess I can tell you before I ask her. I'm going to talk to Faith about taking over guarding the Hellmouth there so she can do something she'll enjoy more."

"What about your duties here?"

Buffy swallows. "I'm a slayer, and if I guard a Hellmouth, I'm still following my duties. Before, I was too lost in my grief to say what I wanted, but I'm not anymore."

"Spike's making you do this, isn't he? Can't you see he's trying to control you? Are you that stupid?"

Spike growls, and she's about ready to follow her lover's example. She stands up and presses a kiss against Spike's neck, sighing contently when his arms come around her. She always feels safe when he holds her, and right now, she dives into the offered security.

When she has her anger somewhat under control, she says in a steely voice, "The only one trying to control me is you. I never thought it would happen, but you've become just like the old council. Before I know it, you'll be reinstating the Cruciamentum." She knows he wouldn't go that far, but she wants to hurt him as well as caution him so he doesn't go down the path he's heading.

"I would never do that! Just because I don't want you to associate with that monster -"

"Stop it!" she yells over the phone, his insult to Spike crumbling her composure. "You don't seem to understand that you don't have a say. You're not my father, not my brother, and you're not even my watcher anymore. You're my boss. And most bosses don't get involved in their employee's personal lives. I'm with Spike, and I'm going to be with him. No one is going to interfere with us this time. And newsflash. I didn't want to train a bunch of slayers to begin with. I did it because I was too heartbroken to care enough to voice my objections. Spike and I talked it over. He was okay with going to England, as long as he could be with me and still get some violence in. _I'm_ the one who chose Cleveland because I think it will make me happy. All he cares about is me and doing what is best for me. Cleveland is what we decided together."

"I won't pay you then."

Buffy clenches the fist that isn't holding the phone.

"We'll make it work, love," Spike says soothingly.

She looks at Spike and knows he's right. She wouldn't accept his help financially at one time, but she no longer has the same issue with it. "Fine. Keep your money, but we're still going to Cleveland. And you should know that you sounded _exactly_ like the old council just then. 'Do it my way or you get nothing.' You should be proud of yourself," she finishes sarcastically.

"Buffy, talk -"

"I'm done talking," Buffy interrupts. "You made your stance very clear to me, and I can see you're not going to change your my mind when it comes to my relationship. I need Spike like I need to breathe, and I'm not afraid of admitting that any longer. So, unless you accept Spike's place in my life, you..." She hesitates. Despite everything, she really hates to hit the last nail in the coffin, but she has to. She can't let anyone who will try to take Spike away from her be a part of her life. "If you can't accept Spike's place in my life, _you_ won't be a part of my life."

"Buffy!" he gasps and she knows he's surprised by how far she'll go.

"I'm sorry, Giles. I love you, but I love Spike more. I know what it's like to be without him, and I never want to feel that type of pain again. Goodbye." She takes the phone away from her ear and flips it close, saying goodbye to that part of her life.

"Buffy?"

Spike's quiet question takes Buffy's attention away from her silent phone. "I'm okay," she whispers.

"You didn't have to do that. I could have dealt with his disapproval. It wouldn't have chased me away."

She reaches out and cups his cheek. "You shouldn't have to deal with it, though. And either should I. People who care about me should accept us if I'm happy. And I don't want to have to constantly defend us to those who don't accept it. And I wouldn't be surprised if he came at you from behind with a stake to eliminate the problem of our relationship."

"I wouldn't be surprised either," he mutters, and she knows he's remembering Giles teaming up with Robin.

"I hope he'll come to accept us, but if he doesn't, then I don't want him in my life. I'm not going to give him the opportunity to hurt you."

"He could still find a way to get rid of me," Spike points out.

"I know, but it will be harder if he doesn't have an all access pass to you. And I know you can take care of yourself if something were to happen in Cleveland."

"Of course I can," he reassures her, and she cracks a smile.

They leisurely kiss, and she hums her disappointment when he pulls away.

"Do you want to take a break before you call Faith?"

Buffy looks at her phone, and then looks at Spike. "Definitely." They make themselves comfortable on the bed, Buffy's head resting on his chest and Spike's arms around her, and then they drift off to dreamland.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** Don't own 'em - not making any money off 'em. Dern it.

* * *

**Chapter 7**

"Do I want to get off of the Cleveland Hellmouth? Hell Yeah, B. You offering?"

"Yes. I love just having to slay, not teaching slaying."

"By any chance, your sudden resolve to stand up for yourself and do what you actually want to do... Does it have anything to do with a certain bleached blond souled vampire who's totally head over heels in love with you coming back from the dead?"

Spike snickers while Buffy is speechless. "Um... How?"

"Giles called. Tried to order me to say 'no' when you ask to take over the Hellmouth."

Buffy frowns. Giles doesn't seem to have listened to Buffy when she lectured him about staying out of her business. If he had been genuinely concerned about the slaying, that would be one thing. Buffy knows he's just trying to keep her under his thumb by taking away her options. "Try?"

"Yeah. He should have known better. It's me. When are you and your vampire going to get here?"

She looks at Spike from underneath lowered eyelashes. "_My _vampire? I like the sound of that."

"Always been yours, pet."

"I know, just a bit slow on the uptake."

They lean towards each other, lips only inches apart, when of course, Faith has to ruin the moment. "Yo, B? Time? When should I expect you?"

Buffy shakes her head, trying to clear the fogginess from her brain. "Um, not sure. Spike needs to say his goodbyes here. I still need to talk to Dawn about my decision. I know she wants to train to be a watcher, so she might choose to stay in England. And then there's travel time. Let's just say a week. Spike and I are still getting reacquainted."

"I'm sure you are." Buffy can hear the smirk in Faith's voice. "Is he still mouth-watering?"

"Faith." Buffy's amusement is washed away, especially considering the history concerning Buffy's boyfriends and Faith.

Spike leans forward and talks loudly so Faith can hear. "Sorry, Dark Slayer. I'm a one slayer vamp."

Buffy kisses him on the cheek. Deep down, she knows she has nothing to worry about. Spike has always been unerringly loyal. Still, it's nice to hear that every now and then.

"Oh, I see how it is. Call when you leave for the city." She hangs up.

Buffy giggles as Spike presses kisses to her neck. His hands massage her stomach and move up, inching their way towards her breasts.

Her head falls back to his chest, and she arches her back, pressing her chest into his questing hands. She feels blindly behind her and grabs his erection, giving it a tight squeeze. She grins at his groan of desire, baring her neck to his hungry lips.

When he scrapes her neck lightly with his fangs, she doesn't tense up despite her slayer senses going haywire. She trusts him inexplicitly.

His hands work their way under the waistband of her pants and before his hands can slip under her panties while her needy pants increase, her phone rings.

"Ignore it," Spike commands, his fingers diving into her warmth.

She screams, her hips bucking wildly. His thumb taps her clit, and she squeezes his hardness in response.

By then, her phone has stopped ringing, but it's only a moment before it starts up again. "Need to answer." She blindly reaches for it. All the while, Spike doesn't stop the pure torture of his fingers.

"H-Hello?" Buffy asks as nonchalantly as possible.

"So, you and Spike busy?" Dawn's amused voice comes over the line.

Like a bucket of ice water has been thrown on her, Buffy sits up straight and pulls Spike's talented, talented fingers out and away from her body. Thankfully, he behaves himself. "Dawnie?"

"Yep."

"Let me guess... Giles called you too." It's not a question.

"Yep. What's this about you and Cleveland?"

"I was going to call you and Willow after I spoke to Faith."

"Well, we're both here right now, so talk. Oh, and hi Spike."

Buffy hands the phone to him, and hesitantly, he answers, "'ello, Niblet."

"We're going to have a long talk about you being back and not telling the people that matter."

Having heard Dawn's recrimination, Buffy takes the phone before Spike can answer. "Dawnie, don't. I've already lectured him. Thoroughly."

"So, what about Cleveland?" Willow asks.

Buffy smiles at the familiar sound of the redhead's voice. "The short version is I hate teaching slayers and after discussing it with Spike, we decided to see if Faith would be interested in us taking over the Hellmouth so she and Robin can leave. They love the idea, or at least Faith does. I'm sure she'll get Robin to agree it's a good idea, knowing how she likes to use her... um... charms." Dawn, if you want to stay in England, in order to train as a watcher, I understand. You and Willow are the only two I'm going to miss from England, but I can't stay there, not with how controlling Giles is being right now."

"You're right. I do want to stay in England."

Buffy nods, feeling tears build in her eyes. It doesn't change her decision, but she still wishes her and Dawn wouldn't be in different countries. "I'm sure you can stay with Will."

"Actually," Willow speaks up carefully. "I was hoping to come to Cleveland and help you guys out. You might need a witch's help, and you know how good with research I am."

Spike comfortingly squeezes Buffy's neck.

She swallows. "Yeah, that would be great. But then, who can Dawn stay with? Giles? He might refuse just to keep me from going to Cleveland."

"Truthfully, I think Dawnie can be trusted to stay by herself. The apartment is paid for by the council. She's out of high school, so there's no worry about that. It's only food we really have to think about."

"Buffy, you can trust me," Dawn implores.

Dawn has grown up a lot, but that doesn't mean Buffy thinks her sister is ready to live by herself with no adult supervision whatsoever.

Willow sweetens the deal. "We can have one of the slayers we trust check up on Dawn twice a week, make sure she's not getting into any trouble. What about Vi? She was probably one of the most trustworthy potentials from the apocalypse, and she has only gotten more trustworthy since. And I know she's still in England."

"That is a possibility," Buffy grudgingly agrees.

"Okay, I'll talk to Vi. Do you trust me to handle it? Trust my judgment?" Willow asks.

"Yeah, I do. So for food, I guess I could wire money to your account, Dawn. I hope you can be responsible enough and use it for food like it's going to be meant for."

"You can trust me, Buffy. I know how much you missed Spike. I'm not going to let my own childishness get in the way of you finally being happy. I'll behave as if you were still in England. I promise."

Buffy smiles and leans against Spike's chest, sighing contently when his arms come around her. "Good."

Buffy talks a few more minutes with Dawn and Willow before hanging up.

"Pet, are you happy with how it's turning out?"

"I wish Dawn was coming, although I'm not surprised, but I'm happy Willow will be there. It will be nice to have a familiar face around."

Spike growls and swoops down, playfully biting her neck. "And what am I?" he asks against her warm flesh.

Buffy giggles, turning her head so she can kiss the side of Spike's head. "The most important man in my life. Nothing can beat a best girlfriend, though. You'll just have to live with that."

"I guess I can. I mean, she is the one who told you about me."

Buffy nods and allows Spike to turn her around so she straddles is waist. She experimentally wiggles her hips, feeling a rush a warmth between her legs when he groans and grips her hips, halting her above his hardness.

"Mmm, so big," she murmurs seductively.

:"For you."

Buffy bends down and claims Spike's lips, and they lose themselves in each other for the rest of the day.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** Don't own 'em - not making any money off 'em. Dern it.  
**Notes: **Was vague with details because I never watched Angel. Don't really what story line would be going on right now during Buffy's visit and I don't know the layout of W&amp;H or how Spike gets around in the sunlight. I also don't know who Fred is as a character. All I know about her is she's a sweet scientist.

* * *

**Chapter 8**

"It doesn't expunge all of my sins," Spike murmurs against Buffy's forehead.

She groans. "I'm trying to give you a very nice good morning present, and you're talking about this."

Spike shrugs. "I just don't want you thinking I've redeemed myself for everything I did, especially to you."

Buffy sits up, and Spike follows. Both of them rest their backs against the headboard. "I know you're still working on redeeming yourself. I don't think you're suddenly pristine white. I know better than that. As long as you allow me to be with you as you work towards redemption, I can deal with everything else that comes my way."

"I've followed you all around Sunnydale. I definitely don't mind us walking side by side now. As long as I have your love, I feel like I can do anything."

Buffy nods. "Good, so why were you suddenly so introspective?"

"You're giving up some of your friends for me. Some of your family. I just want to make sure you know what you're getting into.

She rolls her eyes. "You really do sound like a broken record, you know that? For the very last time, and I better not hear anymore about this, I'm positive you're what I want."

"Even if my poof of a grandsire suddenly becomes human because of a prophecy?" he asks uncertainly.

She blinks at the question, feeling a bit surprised because she thought they covered this already, but she quickly shakes the thought away. "Yes, no matter what happens, I pick you. Not stop beating a dead horse. That's the saying, right? If it is, it's a really gross saying."

He chuckles. "It was the correct saying."

"So, you ready to move on from California and start our life together? After you say goodbye to everyone of course."

"The only one I'm actually going to miss is Fred. She's the only one who showed me a bit of kindness."

Buffy leans forward and presses a kiss to his chest. She nips her way to his left nipple and before she takes it into her mouth, she looks up at him through fluttering eyelashes. "I've decided to prioritize, and since you ruined my good morning present, I need to do this before we start our day." She takes the nipple into her mouth and gently sucks, enjoying his groans as he fingers clutch her hair. She's now thankful she decided to grow it out, especially when Spike gives it a little tug, and she forces her mouth away from her feast. "Somehow, it's both sweet and salty," she grins.

Spike chuckles. "Never knew that about myself, but I'd rather have your mouth on a much better body part. It needs your attention a lot more."

She sits back on her hunches and pretends to think about it. "Um, no. It's time to get up," she exclaims brightly.

His mouth opens and then snaps shut. He opens it again and unintelligently manages, "What?"

She shrugs. "I think you've lost your touch since you've been in Los Angeles; you mind me of an amateur, and that's definitely not true for you when it comes to me. You're being punished for stopping the activities earlier. Maybe next time, you'll stop and think, and then you'll get your good morning present."

"How about if I promise to be a good boy for the rest of the day?" he asks with a pout.

Her grin is positively wicked as her eyes flash. She reaches down and gropes him playfully, making him arch into her hand, before she jumps off of the bed and runs into the bathroom.

He stays in bed sullenly until he hears the shower start. All sorts of ideas run through his head as he quickly moves from the bed. He tries the door and is happy to see it's not locked. It's a hint, and the hint's telling him that Buffy wants him to follow her.

She acts scared when he rips the shower curtains open, but her welcoming arms and an even more welcoming mouth belies her fear.

She jumps and wraps her legs around his waist, and he easily holds her against the shower tiles, sliding into her warmth as if she's a glove. Their lovemaking is fast and harsh. Buffy is no longer shy about admitting that she likes it rough as much as she likes it soft, and Spike is happy to give both to her.

She tightens her legs around his waist, her head thrown back and her eyes closed. He knows she's close and watches her face intently, always loving how expressive she is when she comes.

"Come for me, pet," he gasps, and when she does, she clenches him so tightly, that Spike follows quickly after her into the abyss.

The water has considerably cooled since they started, and her shivering propels him into action. He shuts off the faucet and dries her off, carefully toweling her hair.

He runs his fingers through the glorious sunshine. "Love the tousled look."

She kisses his chin. "I think you'd love anything I did with my hair."

"Probably." He isn't afraid to admit it.

"Come on. Let's get dressed and get to Wolfram. We already missed breakfast. Maybe we can have an early lunch with Fred." She grabs his hand and pulls him into the bedroom in order to dress.

Spike keeps his eyes carefully averted, knowing that if he sees her, he'll throw her on the bed and ravish her. He wouldn't mind that, but they'd never leave at that rate.

When they leave the apartment, Buffy follows Spike's lead, and they make it to Wolfram in record time.

They make it to the lab with minimal problems and Spike crashes the door open like he always does. "Hey, Fred."

Fred smiles and it brightens when she notices Spike and Buffy are holding hand. "I see you two are doing well."

He happily nods and drops Buffy's hand in favor of putting an arm around her shoulders. She leans into the touch, not minding the change.

"Things have been great," he exclaims loudly.

Fred steps towards them and lays a gentle hand on his upper arm. "I'm so glad for you."

His expression dims a bit when he remembers he's here to say goodbye to this sweet scientist, one of only a few humans to actually care about him.

Buffy notices his expression and her heart tightens at the sight. She's not worried or jealous that there might have been something between Fred and Spike. She can see Fred simply provided the friendship he needed when he felt alone here, and that's something she'll always be grateful to Fred for.

She does her best to smile. "We were wondering if you wanted to have lunch with us."

Fred keeps the smile on her face, but her eyes suddenly seem sadder. "It's to say goodbye, isn't it?"

Spike nods. "We're going to Cleveland to guard the Hellmouth there. I would really like to spend some time with you before we leave."

"When are you leaving?"

"Probably tomorrow night. Just need to tie up some loose ends."

Fred nods and puts down her notepad. "Let's go get food. I'm not that hungry, but I wouldn't mind snacking on some of my almonds."

They go to where the employee break room is and Spike heats up his blood while Fred and Buffy scavenge for some food that Buffy can enjoy.

Fred listens to everything they're planning for Cleveland, and she is happy that total joy is on both of their faces. There's a little cloud when Buffy mentions Giles' betrayal and Dawn's desire to stay in England, but even those two things doesn't bring Buffy mood down much.

Her heart warms when she mentions Willow coming too, and Fred knows that is what's helping to keep Buffy together despite the things conspiring against her and Spike.

She finishes it off by saying, "You can always come to visit. That is, if Angel ever gives you time off."

"I might take you up on that. Do you know where you're going to live?"

"Faith and decided that we can take over the house she and Robin lived in together. It's already paid for by the council, so there won't be any mortgage. I will still need to get a regular paying job since I'm not sure Giles will budge, but I don't think it will be that bad."

"Why did the council pay for a house instead of just an apartment? Wouldn't it have been cheaper?"

"It would be hard to get any privacy with neighbors in close quarters like it is in an apartment. Especially when it's a common occurrence for demons to attack at home. The house isn't in a crowded neighborhood thankfully, so it's not likely for many people to be disturbed by the sounds of fighting."

Fred claps her hands and stands up after they finish lunch. "Now! No more hanging out. I'm sure you two have a lot to do before tomorrow night.

Spike gives Fred a hug just as Angel enters the room. He scowls at the sight. "What's going on here?"

Buffy crosses her arms and stands protectively in front of the embracing pair. "Saying our goodbyes to Fred."

"When are you leaving?" he asks, glaring furiously.

She rolls her eyes. "Tomorrow night." When he opens his mouth, she continues, "And no, you won't be able to talk me out of loving Spike so don't bother trying."

His mouth snaps shut, and he continues to glare.

She feels Spike's presence behind her and feels it's safe enough to face Fred to bestow her own hug onto the girl Buffy quickly learned to like. "Thank you for taking care of Spike," she whispers in Fred's ear.

She knows the vampires can hear her but doesn't let it bother her. Spike won't think it demeaning to have a female take care of him, and it doesn't matter what Angel thinks.

She pulls away from the warm embrace and flashes a smile at Spike. "Let's get out of here."

He takes her hand and they push past Angel who stands in the doorway.

Buffy's a little bit worried about leaving Fred unprotected since it's obvious she's supporting Spike and Buffy's relationship, but no matter how angry Angel is by the turn of events, and it's pretty guaranteed that he hasn't been this angry in a long time, she doesn't think he'll hurt Fred.

"I can't wait to be out of California," she whispers.

"Me either," Spike replies, giving her hand a soft squeeze.

Soon, soon, they'll be gone.

* * *

**Notes:** Not sure what I'm going to write next. I don't think I want to write the road trip. I'm kind of running out of steam since I hadn't planned to make the one-shot a multi-chapter story so there hadn't been a planning. Really don't know _what _to write. I'll probably end it within 5 chapters before I stop updating completely and with over a month since chapter 7, that's a very real fear for me.

If there's anything you actually want to see, don't hesitate to ask in a review. I'm not promising anything for sure, but I'll definitely think about it.


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